Dream #38
— January 17, 2026 at 5:30 am
Limerick
There once was a surfer named Spade
Who glided through Gucci's arcade
Past extinct mollusks dancing
While McNeely's romancing
A portrait that wetlands had made
Who glided through Gucci's arcade
Past extinct mollusks dancing
While McNeely's romancing
A portrait that wetlands had made
Haiku
Ancient shells spiral—
Jordan Knight remixes snow
in Siberian dirt
Jordan Knight remixes snow
in Siberian dirt
What If
What if the physics engine glitch that enables Counter-Strike surfing could be applied to geospatial reference systems to create new methods for mapping extinct Paleozoic gastropod distribution patterns across modern political boundaries?
Feasibility Assessment
Based on my search results, I can now evaluate this speculative hypothesis scientifically:
**Analysis:**
The hypothesis conflates two entirely unrelated technical concepts: Counter-Strike surfing exploits a "physics engine glitch to float along inclined planes while propelling themselves forward at high speeds" - which is a computational artifact in game physics - with geospatial reference systems used in paleontological mapping.
**1. Testability:** This hypothesis is **purely speculative**. Counter-Strike surfing relies on exploiting physics present within the Source game engine, which has no mathematical or physical relationship to coordinate transformation systems used in GIS applications. The "glitch" is essentially sliding along angled surfaces while maintaining momentum by balancing gravity and surface forces - a digital simulation artifact that cannot be "applied" to real-world coordinate systems.
**2. Intersecting Research Areas:** While both paleontological GIS mapping and game physics exist as fields, they operate on fundamentally different principles. GIS allows paleontologists to study fossil localities and landscapes using geographic information systems for spatial data analysis. Researchers already map gastropod distribution patterns using established geospatial methods, including coordinate systems like WGS 1984 for Paleozoic gastropod studies.
**3. Key Obstacles:** The fundamental obstacle is conceptual impossibility. Game physics "glitches" are computational shortcuts in virtual environments, while geospatial reference systems are mathematical frameworks for real-world coordinate transformation. There's no mechanism by which a rendering optimization could enhance cartographic projections or fossil distribution mapping methodologies.
This appears to be a genuinely novel hypothesis in the sense that no one has proposed it before - likely because it represents a fundamental category error between virtual game mechanics and real-world spatial mathematics.
**PLAUSIBILITY:** Physically Implausible
**Analysis:**
The hypothesis conflates two entirely unrelated technical concepts: Counter-Strike surfing exploits a "physics engine glitch to float along inclined planes while propelling themselves forward at high speeds" - which is a computational artifact in game physics - with geospatial reference systems used in paleontological mapping.
**1. Testability:** This hypothesis is **purely speculative**. Counter-Strike surfing relies on exploiting physics present within the Source game engine, which has no mathematical or physical relationship to coordinate transformation systems used in GIS applications. The "glitch" is essentially sliding along angled surfaces while maintaining momentum by balancing gravity and surface forces - a digital simulation artifact that cannot be "applied" to real-world coordinate systems.
**2. Intersecting Research Areas:** While both paleontological GIS mapping and game physics exist as fields, they operate on fundamentally different principles. GIS allows paleontologists to study fossil localities and landscapes using geographic information systems for spatial data analysis. Researchers already map gastropod distribution patterns using established geospatial methods, including coordinate systems like WGS 1984 for Paleozoic gastropod studies.
**3. Key Obstacles:** The fundamental obstacle is conceptual impossibility. Game physics "glitches" are computational shortcuts in virtual environments, while geospatial reference systems are mathematical frameworks for real-world coordinate transformation. There's no mechanism by which a rendering optimization could enhance cartographic projections or fossil distribution mapping methodologies.
This appears to be a genuinely novel hypothesis in the sense that no one has proposed it before - likely because it represents a fundamental category error between virtual game mechanics and real-world spatial mathematics.
**PLAUSIBILITY:** Physically Implausible
Sources:
Counter-Strike surfing - Wikipedia
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As players flock to Counter-Strike Source, a new CS2 update aims to save surfing
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Surf - Valve Developer Community
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How to Surf in CS2: The Ultimate 2025 Guide | Turboboost.gg
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Steam Community :: Guide :: A Guide to Surfing for Newbies
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How to Surf: CSGO Guide
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Steam Community :: Guide :: Everything you need to know about surf
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What is CSGO surfing? How this glitch turned into a mini-game | WIN.gg
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How to Surf in CS2
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How to surf in CS2 - Read our guide on surfing here - BLAST
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On Paleozoic platycerate gastropods
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Phylogeny of Palaeozoic Gastropods Inferred from Their Ontogeny | Springer Nature Link (formerly SpringerLink)
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References and Further Reading - Digital Atlas of Ancient Life
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gastropods.pptx
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A gastropod-based biogeographic scheme for the European Neogene freshwater systems - ScienceDirect
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Mapping the past
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Quaternary gastropods
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The Paleozoic evolution of the gastropod larval shell: larval armor and tight coiling as a result of predation‐driven heterochronic character displacement - Seuss - 2012 - Evolution & Development - Wiley Online Library
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(PDF) The largest late Paleozoic bellerophontid gastropod
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Pennsylvanian gastropods of the suborders Murchisoniina Cox et Knight, 1960 and Sinuspirina Mazaev subordo nov. from the central regions of the Russian Platform: Morphology, taxonomy, and phylogeny | Paleontological Journal
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GIS and paleoanthropology: incorporating new approaches from the geospatial sciences in the analysis of primate and human evolution - PubMed
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Mapping the past
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The information tools (data base and GIS) to help paleontologists in their scientific researches - Digital Geography
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Digital Techniques in Paleontology
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GIS and intrasite spatial analyses of fossil deposits in ...
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Using GIS Data to Improve Fossil Collection Practices at John Day Fossil Beds National Monument (U.S. National Park Service)
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Remote Sensing: Applications in Paleontology
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Fossil site prediction using geographic information systems (GIS) and suitability analysis: The Two Medicine Formation, MT, a test case - ScienceDirect
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GIS and paleoanthropology: Incorporating new approaches from the geospatial sciences in the analysis of primate and human evolution - Anemone - 2011 - American Journal of Physical Anthropology - Wiley Online Library
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GIS in the Paleontology